Understanding Grief & Loss

September’s Heart Spotlight

J. DIEKER

This month we remember the lives lost to the tragedy of 9/11. When we face catastrophes like these with such great loss, it is important to not lose hope. In grieving we mourn the loss of a hope that could or should have been. In healing we continue the hope for what could be and find gratitude for what was. That’s why this month I thought it could be good to talk about grief.

Those in the helping professions define grief as “...the experience of coping with loss…”(Cleveland Clinic, 2025). In the 1960s, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross interviewed over 200 people who were grieving their own terminal illnesses. She found that in general, people went through these five stages:

Denial: Shock and disbelief that the loss occurred.

Anger: Trying to find someone or something to blame for the loss. 

Bargaining: Looking for a way to compromise in order to prevent the loss.

Depression: Experiencing the deep sorrow of the loss.

Acceptance: Accepting the loss and preparing to move forward.

It’s important to note here that there’s not necessarily anything wrong with you if you skip a stage or go through them in a different order. Everyone is different, and our hearts process loss differently too. Some common physical and emotional stages that accompany grief are:

Physical:                                                                          Emotional:

Nausea                                                            Sorrow

Insomnia                                                          Guilt

Headaches                                                      Anger

Grief requires patience and mercy with ourselves. Coming to a point of mourning the loss and being grateful for the gift that it was is a good thing. Life will be different, and this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. But there is always hope and healing. 

References:

“Grief.” Cleveland Clinic, 14 July 2025, my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24787-grief. Accessed 5 Sept. 2025.

Smith, Melinda, MA, et al. “Coping With Grief and Loss: Stages of Grief and How to Heal.” HelpGuide.org, 15 Aug. 2025, www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.

Sparks, Dana. “7 Steps for Managing Grief and Loss.” Mayo Clinic, 19 Dec. 2014, newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss. Accessed 5 Sept. 2025.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24787-grief 

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss 

https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss/